Estranged!

The loneliness persists and slowly eats away my determination to live peacefully. Sometimes, the pain can be avoided by doing the easiest things. But then, taking the easiest step needs courage, which presently, I am lacking. 

I have stopped talking to her. It hurts, it feels as if a part, a vital part is missing, but I welcome the pain. The pain is the reality and I am not afraid to face it. But confrontation I hate and I am dreading the outcome.

I don’t know what came in between us, why I am angry with her, why I have started hating her. I don’t want that. I never would. She is the dose I crave, I desire and I hunger for. Without her I am incomplete.

Then why, when I picked up my cell to call her, I could not? I dialed her number only to erase it and bask in my loneliness.